{"id":1578,"date":"2025-04-17T14:52:31","date_gmt":"2025-04-17T21:52:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/in.nau.edu\/ucan\/?p=1578"},"modified":"2025-04-17T14:53:56","modified_gmt":"2025-04-17T21:53:56","slug":"busy-stressed-and-still-kind-to-myself-heres-how","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/in.nau.edu\/ucan\/busy-stressed-and-still-kind-to-myself-heres-how\/","title":{"rendered":"Busy, Stressed, and Still Kind to Myself\u2014Here\u2019s How"},"content":{"rendered":"

I remember sitting at my desk in my apartment, staring at the paper I had just written, silently tearing myself apart because it didn\u2019t turn out the way I wanted. It wasn\u2019t the first time I felt like I wasn\u2019t doing enough, and it definitely wouldn\u2019t be the last. But something changed when I started working on a new project centered around self-compassion\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, I\u2019d heard of self-compassion before\u2014I knew it had something to do with being kind to yourself. But what did it <\/span>really<\/span><\/i> mean? How do I <\/span>actually<\/span><\/i> be kind to myself? How do I intentionally treat myself with care, even when it feels like the last thing I deserve?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, what exactly <\/span>is <\/span><\/i>self-compassion? Technically speaking, it\u2019s the practice of acknowledging and embracing your failure, inadequacies, and suffering\u2014responding to those challenges with a sense of shared humanity, mindfulness, and kindness toward yourself (Horan & Taylor, 2018).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"Basically, self-compassion is treating yourself with the same care you\u2019d offer a friend. It\u2019s not about letting yourself off the hook. It\u2019s about meeting failure, stress, and pressure with kindness instead of cruelty.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once I started diving into the concept, I began noticing that I apologized to myself more often than I encouraged myself. So, I flipped the script. Now, when I catch myself spiraling, I pause and ask: <\/span>\u201cWhat would I say to a friend in this situation?\u201d<\/span><\/i> That simple question has saved me countless times this past year.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always been a go-getter and have had a hard time saying no. Unfortunately, that\u2019s led me to take on more than I can realistically handle. Ever wish you had a copy of yourself, like Hermione in <\/span>Harry Potter<\/span><\/i>? Yeah, me too. But I don\u2019t. And because of that, I\u2019ve overcommitted, struggled to produce quality work, dropped important routines due to lack of time, and constantly beat myself up. It\u2019s not sustainable. Eventually, the chronic stress started showing up physically. That\u2019s when I knew something had to change.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are a few things that actually helped me on my self-compassion journey (and might help you too):<\/p>\n

Talk to yourself like a friend.<\/b><\/h3>\n

We\u2019re so good at giving our friends grace and encouragement\u2014so why not do the same for ourselves? <\/span><\/p>\n

For example, the other day in class, we were having a discussion about an assigned reading. I sat back, quietly wondering how everyone else could articulate their thoughts so much better than me. I didn\u2019t share because I felt\u2026 well, kind of dumb.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, imagine a friend told you this story over dinner. What would you say to them? Personally, I\u2019d say: \u201cEveryone\u2019s insights are valid and worth hearing. Who cares if it doesn\u2019t sound as polished as someone\u2019s else\u2019s? Your perspective might even spark a new conversation.\u201d Now, flip the script and say those same words to <\/span>yourself.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

For me, this has been a powerful and practical way to reframe my self-talk and start offering myself the same compassion I so easily give to others. <\/span>
\n<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

Take mindful breaks\u2014even if it\u2019s just five minutes. <\/b>
\n<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"I was recently talking with my therapist about how I get so lost in homework and responsibilities that I completely forget to do the small things that help me feel grounded. After a few days of neglecting myself, I\u2019m stressed, tense, and deep in a fog.<\/span><\/p>\n

We came up with the idea of creating a <\/span>self-care menu<\/b>\u2014a list of simple things I can do that don\u2019t take up much time, but help me reset. As I\u2019m writing this, I can see my menu taped on the wall above my desk. A few of my favorites: make a cup of tea, light a candle, open a window, put on a favorite outfit, take a few deep breaths outside, or listen to music I love.<\/span><\/p>\n

These little things help me slow down and reconnect with myself, making it easier to approach everything else with more self-compassion. <\/span><\/p>\n

Acknowledge hard emotions\u2014without judgment.<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"\"Ever get mad at yourself for having certain thoughts? Same. I try to stay consistent with movement\u2014walks, yoga, hiking, or even a YouTube Pilates video. But not every day looks the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some days, all I can manage is a short walk from my bed to my desk. And when that happens, the negative thoughts creep in: <\/span>\u201cYou have no determination.\u201d \u201cYou fail so easily.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ve ruined all your progress.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Those thoughts are intense\u2014and while they might not be <\/span>true<\/span><\/i>, the feelings behind them are real. What I\u2019ve learned is to <\/span>pause <\/b>and ask: Where are these thoughts coming from? Then, I reframe them:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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